Television Ain't What It Used To Be

Sometimes, I need to listen to myself when I speak. This came out of my mouth as I was flipping through channels earlier.

Me: Yes, I definitely want to watch a show that has black cocks in the title....

McDuff: Oh, Sherlock...

Third Time's The Charm...

A little bit of conversational humor to brighten up your day.

One:
It needs to be known that I have worn glasses every single day of my life since I was prescribed them at age eleven.
Me: I cannot wait to get my new glasses, they're pretty awesome.
Jessica: Oh, do you wear glasses then?
Me: *blankstarefacepalm*

Two:
This happened after Jessica and I were caught sending each other silly little notes to pass the time at work.
Boss: So, am I going to see you two making any more of these at work?
Me: Ugh, I swear, we made them at home?
Boss: I wasn't born last night, you know.
Me: Really? Well then, you look great for your age.

Three:
This last scenario took place at our family Thanksgiving brunch today.
Paul: So, what are you studying in history class?
Cheyanne: History...

Can I Bungee Jump Next Time?

"STOP! You need to stop! You have crossed the line. No, wait. You have more than crossed the line, you have dived over the line into the other side." McDuff to Me.